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Aspergers syndrome: A personal consideration (extended version)

I consider that I may have Asperger syndrome (AS) or other autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

OCD is of course my main concern and it is an incapacitating and a severe detriment to living a normal fulfilling life. Nonetheless I have had throughout my life difficulties with social interaction which has enhanced the difficulties experienced with OCD.

Receiving a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome if such is appropriate  might help me to understand why I have had such a difficult life concerning my relationships with other people and why I have never fitted in socially not even with other OCD sufferers.

Since my son has received a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome and I consider that I may also be on the autism spectrum as a duel diagnosis to my OCD, (Because of its severity I consider OCD as the primary condition which exists as a separate diagnosis rather than part of AS). I felt that the possibility of an ASD may explain why I have so many difficulties in any social situation, why it is difficult to have friends or other relationships and why I have sensitivity problems such as to noise, bright lights, rough cloths and a whole range of other considerations too lengthy for me to explain in detail here. I have social anxiety problems even if these cannot be considered as diagnostic of an ASD. I believe the presence of Aspergers syndrome, if indeed I have this condition, (or at least considerable autistic traits), may be one of the reasons my OCD remains intractable. I think that receiving this diagnosis, if appropriate, will help me to make some sense out of the difficult life which I have led, not only as a result of severe OCD but also because of these other symptoms which I now believe best fit the diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome. I understand it is rare to receive the diagnosis of both OCD and AS a duel diagnosis because of the overlaps in certain areas however in my case I personally feel that it is possible that I do indeed have OCD and AS or other ASD. It is my personal opinion that this possibility is in fact more common than is realised.

Symptoms which lead me to consider the possibility that I may have Aspergers syndrome.

(The symptoms I have listed relate to the criteria in the DSM BehaveNet® Clinical Capsule™: Asperger's Disorder as far as I understand it and similar diagnostic criteria and other symptoms I which I feel may be relevant to the possible diagnosis of AS or other ASD)

The title of Robert Heinlein’s science fiction novel “A Stranger in a Strange Land” nicely describes how I feel for most of the time.

For as long as I can remember I have experienced hampered conversational ability. I do not fit in socially. I am unable to think fast enough to form the words to communicate quickly or clearly, neither can I think or process information quickly enough to respond in the way people expect. I am often therefore unable to express my thoughts, or say what I wish to say or even to formulate thoughts quickly enough to respond. I cannot think of anything to say, sometimes there are no thoughts there no matter how much time I have to respond. I find speaking to anyone difficult. I find it very difficult to express myself verbally and this is especially so if I need to discuss health issues or emotional problems. However any type of verbal communication does not come naturally, even the most simple of social interaction is difficult. I am hopeless at small talk. I dread making a phone call. In a group of people I will remain silent feeling awkward, conspicuous, tongue-tied. I become quietly panicky, wanting to say something but not able to do so. I invariably feel awkward not just because of my inability to participate or initiate conversation but also in a way not easy to describe as though I feel physically out of place, clumsy and awkward with unnatural movements, and I feel as though this is noticeable. It is as though there is an barrier between me and others, it is as though there is no connection with others.

These communication difficulties I believe, have been a detriment in getting people to understand my OCD problems particularly now that they are so complicated and interwoven. I find it easier to write than talk although there is still a problem with writing. I do write prolifically and it does take inordinate lengths of time not only because of the OCD checking and rumination problems but also because it is difficult for me to find the correct words to express myself.

I rehearse expected conversations, impromptu conversations leave me tongue-tied. I find it difficult to switch conversation topics. I do not know how to interact with others; I am socially inept and don’t fit in.

I have throughout my life virtually found it impossible to form relationships with people of my own peer group. Even when young I referred the company of much older people. With very few exceptions I have had few close relationships. At the present time I have no friends. Childhood was a lonely experience of social isolation, I avoided unnecessary contact with other children.

During adulthood attempts to be normal with rehearsed conversations and contrived attempts at fitting in produced some superficial friendships but little else.

Notwithstanding such social ineptitudes I met my husband and we are soul mates and this, believe it or not, may be due to the fact that he also may have some autistic disorder along with attention deficit disorder

I used to consider my social inabilities as a form of social phobia. Now however I think my social inabilities may be due to Asperger syndrome and the phobic element arises from fears concerning rejections by society who fail to understand my social interaction problems.

When I am involved in conversation, which sadly is becoming less often, I find it difficult to maintain a flow of conversation and often not knowing when to change subjects - I usually leave that to the other person who finally gets bored with my inability to change topics. I just do not know when a subject has concluded and how to introduce another without an abrupt change. I repeat things over and over. Knowing when a subject has concluded is ambiguous and awkward. Also there is the problem of not knowing what to say unless the conversation is about something which I am interested in or have a passionate opinion about such as politics and religion. I can't concentrate on mundane conversations and my mind wanders off somewhere and I look spaced out and miss what has been said. Such of course is a significant impairment in all areas of social function either with friendships or even simply to make complaints or an enquiry . Telephones are the worst means of communication and is more difficult than a face to face conversation. Letters and Email are much easier, however instant messages can be a problem though there is at least more time to think. I lost a job many years ago; I was told that because I did not join in conversations that I made the atmosphere uncomfortable for my co workers. There are so many similar examples which have occurred throughout my life.

During conversations I cannot process information fast enough to respond. To use computer analogy: It is as though I am working with Pentium 1 while everyone else is on Pentium 4 sometimes I just freeze and cant think of any response.

Furthermore my inability to interact with others has increased quite dramatically I no longer answer the telephone leaving this task my husband. I will use the telephone if I am initiating the call and know the person I am telephoning and have some idea what to say having rehearsed this, and I sometimes I write it all down first. Nonetheless I am anxious when making a phone call and often procrastinate until I really am compelled to do so often until it is too late. For instance the insurance ran out on my computer before I made the phone call concerning a fault with my monitor now I will have to buy a new one.

I used to desire social interaction with others but have trouble knowing how to make it work. At the present time I now seem less keen to do this as it is exhausting and anxiety provoking to such a degree that my ability to converse with others has deteriorated, the ordeal of social interaction is stressful to the extreme.

I once belonged to a computer club my husband had to go with me even though he has no interest in computers. The other members where of similar age most older than I. But I could simply not fit in. I felt conspicuous awkward and for most part both of us where excluded, left out. I know enough about computers to join in intelligently, even enough to perhaps help others with their problems but no I simply do not know how to integrate, social interaction does not come naturally at all not like it appears to do for many others who mix and converse without a thought as naturally as the way that we breathe, without any forethought or anxiety. Part of the problems lies in the fact that I do not share with others my interests. For instance I could have mentioned my son’s website which I created for him in the beginning. But no there is something that prevents me from doing so, something I cannot quite put my finger on. I find it difficult to tell people much of anything perhaps I simply do not know how. I see a situation that allows for an opening but often I let such situations pass overcome by a hesitancy, the reason for which is often very difficult to define. Mostly I am lost for words. For instance one day another member was sitting there looking at a front-page manual, the same software I have used to create both websites. Now I could have said to him something like: Have you created a website? Are you in the process of creating a website. I have used front page to create my website... There are any number of things I could have said to initiate conversation yet I did not as at the time I could not think how to say these things and the moment passed as so often it does. Maybe it is that I have to organise what I say and even after doing so when I open my mouth to speak it is unnatural and comes out muddled and I often stammer and than the eye contact problems adds even more difficulties. Yes there is no doubt that others can tell that I have a problem with eye contact.

Other social interaction difficulties include difficulties in accepting criticism or correction. I am naïve and tend to trust others and often miss the devious intentions of others. This has resulted in a certain level of paranoia.

I have difficulty with reciprocal displays of pleasantries and greetings and congratulatory responses, feeling awkward not knowing quite how to go about this in particular as such attempts are often ignored.

Difficulty with eye Contact
Eye contact is for me a significant problem I find eye contact difficult even with my husband and son. Eye contact or lack thereof is a prominent feature of my inability to interact socially as such is sometimes very significant and people I know feel considerable discomfort when speaking with me. I simply have no idea when to look someone in the eye; for how long and when it is appropriate to look away. Most of the time I either look away repeatedly or whilst trying to be normal stare into someone’s eyes for too long resulting in an obvious discomfort as the person with whom I am conversing turns their gaze away with marked unease.

Difficulty with physical contact
I tend to shy away from physical contact and if it does happen I do not know how to reciprocate. For example my mother in law would embrace and kiss me and I could never return the affection particularly when we first met. I never know how to react in such situations particularly when this happens with people I am not comfortable with, which is just about everyone except my husband and son and than at times that also feels unnatural as if it is a learned response. I would always stiffen if my sister embraced me and my mother claims that whenever she picked me up for cuddle as a baby and later as a child I would push her away and become stiff and rigid. I find physical contact produces overwhelming sensations difficult to explain, this has increased considerably in recent years. I am awkward in such social situations where it might be expected to have physical contact with others, in fact part of the problem is that I do not know when it is appropriate to have physical contact and when it is not, even if I wanted such contact. I don’t like handshakes. Hugs with anyone other than my husband and son is intolerable and awkward and even with either of them just lately this is difficult. I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the sensation of touch particularly light touch, sometimes I am so sensitive to touch I can’t even bear my husband to touch me feeling so overwhelmed by sensations difficult to describe. I worry that he feels I have rejected him.

Inability to share achievements
This has always been a problem and my hesitancy to share achievements, as described in the previous example concerning the computer club, I have previously put down to modesty and lack of self esteem thinking that no one will be interested. I do however try to at least pretend to be interested in other peoples interests but at times I overdo this and it then can seem obviously insincere.

Sharing interests and pointing out things of interest to other people is difficult and in fact after so long of never doing this it has become a habit not to do so and I tend not to think about it. I will sometimes point out things of interest to my husband and son but with others, acquaintances and strangers, I would never point out anything of interest even if I knew that the person concerned was interested. Why I do not know, I simply feel uncomfortable or I simply cannot express myself articulately to do so and often in many conversations I can’t get a word in sometimes, and I do not know how to interrupt other than abruptly. It appears to me that with very few exceptions most people talk and talk. My brain gets overloaded I can’t focus on what they‘re saying, particularly if the conversation is mundane or trivial. This is one of the most difficult problems I have conversing with others other than actually not knowing what to say, most times in situations were the other person is talking incessantly I either never say a word or I have to blurt out what I am going to say and the person than seems surprised.

I understand that many people with AS will talk incessantly about their interests but more like a monologue rather than a proper conversation. For me with anyone other than my husband or son this is something I never do as I cannot communicate sufficiently well enough to do so. Even with my husband and son I really do not talk much about my interests.

I lack social or emotional reciprocity
I realise when someone is attempting to socialise however I am unable to respond particularly if the situation arises spontaneously and I have not had time to rehearse and consider what I will say and how I will react. For example if a stranger or even an acquaintance or relative initiates a conversation for which I am not prepared I become tongue-tied. Mostly this is of course much worse if the person is a stranger and it is a conversation which has been forced upon me unexpectedly. Mostly I barely respond and if I do my comments are brief and uncoordinated and inarticulate. For example recently a little girl whom I actually suspect as having some problem or other herself suddenly appeared and said to me: “ It is uncomfortable walking upon the stones?” We were in the ruins of an old abbey and the floor was paved with cobbles. I could think of nothing to say and responded with “yes yes” and walked on. I felt just awful but I simply was unable to respond quickly without preparation. This has been the way all my life and has caused much loneliness and pain.

Concerning Emotional responses, these are out of proportion to the situation, they are basically more intense and mostly negative.

Concerning other people’s feelings and my attempts at responding to such: I believe I have some empathy - at least what I assume is empathy and not some kind of transference. My emotions and empathy it seems are all or nothing. It appears that I have only empathy for people whom I consider are experiencing the same emotions as myself :unhappiness, pain, stress and other negative emotions . Indeed I am very sensitive to negative emotions and feel profoundly the sorrow and misery of others even those I do not know. (And the pain and misery of animals whose suffering causes me immense pain). I once saw a homeless person in the street crying. I offered help but my inarticulate manner made matters worse, I then cried myself. Often I am overwhelmed completely by the sorrow of the entire world - at least my perceived sorrow of the entire world. However, and this is the crux of the matter, I have no empathy for the more joyful emotions of others. For instance I cannot get all excited if someone announces a wedding or pregnancy the way other people do, such events leave me cold. I just don’t have the emotions and find it hard to fake them for the benefit of others. Furthermore I cannot express what empathy I do have (or perhaps it’s my transferred misery which I think is empathy) to another.

My empathy or emotions are simply not the same as other people’s appear to be, mine are perhaps inappropriate, for instance I recall many years ago during a bad time with my OCD how I genuinely cried when hearing a commentary on the radio about Robbie Burns, who died in his thirties and how on the day of his funeral his wife gave birth. I recall actually crying, I mean seriously crying, as it felt so sad.

It has to be said if I am to be entirely honest, there are times when my emotions towards others seem dead as though they have been turned off and I feel cold and indifferent, and often times this occurs with people I know well rather than those I do not. I feel ashamed for on a different level, a non emotional level, I do care about this person and what happens to them and should they be in dire straits I often go out of my way often at detriment to myself to offer help, yet the actual emotions are non existent. Conversely I see a person who I do not know who is clearly distressed or severely disabled and I experience what I assume is compassion.

I prefer animals to most people, at least I have stronger feelings towards animals. In the same way as I have more feelings towards disadvantage people.

As a sufferer of OCD there is of course some overlap, however the preoccupations, in other words obsessions that I refer to here are intense and addictive interests and not the same as the OCD obsessions, and I do know the difference.

For me there has always been some intense and obsessive preoccupation with some interest, idea or activity. In the last few years it has been the computer including: my website site, graphics programs, the internet and so on. I have other interests such as art but this is not such an obsession and quite often a good deal of my art work has something to do with the computer anyway, such as my attempts to make hand drawn clip art.

I have a long deep and abiding religious preoccupation however this may have more to do with the OCD as there are many religious and superstitious obsessions and compulsions. Nonetheless religion as a comprehensive interest in all religious belief is indeed one of my interests and you would be hard pressed to find a book in my home which belonged to me that was not about religion, philosophy, metaphysics or esoteria. Yet I do not now believe in any religion.

In the past I have had periods of intense interest in many obscure and narrow interests such as the Chinese cultural evolution, the Bolshevik revolution and the culture and religion of Tibet. Such interests have been pursued often at the exclusion of all others. I like to read but the focus is on my interest, although nowadays I tend to read little fiction feeling it a waste of time. Concerning fiction usually the story has to have a point, I have to have leaned something from it, it has to be serious. I prefer science fiction the type that teaches something or expresses a theory. In fact everything I do has to have some purpose, this tendency has increased recently; many things such as certain TV programs I once enjoyed now seem pointless and boring, a waste of time. These intense interests change, some return when replaced by a new interest others do not. The only difference between myself and most people with Aspergers is memory. Although I have this tendency to be preoccupied in narrow and limited subjects I do not have the good memory associated with Aspergers syndrome for all the facts and figures, at least not with the ease of seemingly effortless memory associated with Aspergers syndrome. If you asked me to tell you dates and other facts concerning any of the subjects which interest me either now or in the past I would not be able to recall them at least not in that precise way that most people with Aspergers are able. To put it simply my memory is poor. Particularly my short term memory.

I can’t recall the unusual collections of odd items associated with sufferers of Asperger in childhood except for a time during which I collected car registration numbers and Lego both to collect and to construct.

In recent years I have collected huge numbers of stuffed sheep, ornamental sheep, pictures of sheep and after buying a digital camera, I of course take endless photographs of sheep. I do seem to be rather be obsessed with sheep not in an OCD way as I have said before I do most certainly know the difference. I have collected crystals and our home looks like a geology museum. It is a tendency of mine not to know when to stop collecting things and it is only money that prevents indefinite additions to such collections. I do get fed up with one thing and move to another but the collections are never given away or otherwise disposed of.

Attention deficits
Attention deficit and lack of organisational skills are also major problems and they have always been. I am the person who spent most of her time day dreaming, staring outside of the window at school in a trance whose work was marked in red ink: must pay attention, careless errors. In conversations often I miss the point and I find it difficult to follow TV programmes or the plot in films

Adherence to routines or rituals
I had plenty of these as a child however this is really where there is rather a grey dividing line between routines and rituals connected with OCD. I recall having such routines as a child and will mention those which have no fear as such attached to them and where not motivated by intrusive thoughts of an OCD nature. I had set routines in my everyday life such as going to bed at exactly the same time. I had hand washing rituals before going to bed and these had to be done. I had rituals about bathing. In retrospect these were not OCD rituals and had no connection with either germs or something bad happening as is the case with OCD today. Most daily activities were undertaken in a routine manner, although there was no fear attached if such was not possible, nonetheless I did not like changes to my habits and would become stressed or agitated if I was unable to abide by these routines. If major and irreversible changes did occur I would adapt other routines to take their place. This area is very confusing to separate from my OCD and I had numerous religious rituals which were more of an OCD nature. And now after all this time it is of course not easy to recall which were which and at the time no distinctions were made although there was obviously problems, which were noticed at school and for which I was referred to a psychiatrist from the age of three and again at eight. I have no personal recollections of these interventions. I recall being prescribed a sedative. My mother told me the sedative was advised because I would scream in the street and was generally disposed to crying and moaning all day and generally being a misery. I was also diagnosed with lactose intolerance because of cyclical vomiting. Moreover my mother said that the school were concerned as I did not play with my toys in the normal way. I have no idea what this period in my life was really all about my mother claimed to have few memories. However social services were involved.

Today I do not like changes in routine and changes in plans really upset and confuse me. I become angry and agitated and experience considerable stress if there is change or the interruption in my routine. After four years I am still not settled in my new home and I have not completely recovered from the shock of this huge change in routine. I do not like changing immediate plans.

I like to know each day what I am doing and when. I am not at all spontaneous and cannot cope with ambiguity.

I have the involuntary compulsion to rock backwards and forwards without realising this and was teased for this at work in my late teens where it was first bought to my attention. I continue to do this today. Other less noticed mannerisms include swinging my leg or foot when sitting cross legged and also swaying from side to side.

Developmental delay
At my age now it is impossible to recall if I had cognitive abilities suitable for my age I have no recollection as to whether or not there were any delays in self help abilities, such as dressing myself, feeding myself, and so on or my curiosity about my environment. There where delays in reading and I have never been able to spell. The only problem I recall clearly relating to the possibility of AS for as long as I can remember is my social integration difficulties. There were some problems at school with play and other matters indicating a rebellion against authority at the age of eight, at least according to a couple of letters in my medical files. And also the problem with screaming in the street referred to earlier of which my mother told me about although I do not recall this myself. According to my mother the school was concerned that I did not play with my toys in the normal way

Auditory
Sound for me is greatly amplified at least by comparison to the reactions of others. I am overwhelmed by noise and often hear noises or am disturbed by noise that is either not heard by others or does not effect others. With the occurrence of music just about anywhere and everywhere in just about every public building, I can barely cope I sometimes feel like a child once again and there are times when I reach up to cover my ears and feel like screaming. My sensitivity to noise seems to becoming more enhanced. Sudden noise is anathema and brings about an almost phobic reaction if I suspect such is likely to occur. For instance if I see a child with a balloon I immediately become tense should the balloon burst suddenly. I react by covering my ears even now in adulthood when really loud noises occur suddenly such as fire alarms, fireworks, low flying air craft and the like. Noises such as eating, swallowing and sniffing drive me crazy and even the noise of people moving about, fidgeting is extremely irritating jarring my nerves, for instance my husband fidgeting with his glasses or licking his fingers to turn a page which I don’t like anyway because of my OCD anxiety about salvia and contamination. I don’t like the sound of appliances such as vacuum cleaners and the washing machine. I am significantly disturbed by a constant low frequency hum from the local factory.

Physical sensation of touch and clothing etc.
Clothing irritates me particularly underwear, bras and pants. Anything tight or made of rough material is impossible for me to wear. I can’t wear wool next to my skin or even synthetic knitted garments. I am sensitive to cloths labels and seams which are bulky and crinkly materials. I change very early in the evening into loose flowing night clothes, I can’t stand my day clothes and can’t wait to discard them. Sometimes I can’t sleep even with these lose fitting clothes as such irritate when I become entangled in them such as a nightdress wrapping round my legs.

Bright lights are a problem particularly florescent.
This problem could also be related to my chronic daily headaches and migraine. Brilliant sunshine during the summer months seems now far too bright. I am more comfortable with sunglasses. I can’t cope with fluorescent lights.

A mixture of all the above such as in a cafe where there is music, bright lights, background noise - such as from coffee machines, the rattle of cutlery, the babble of background conversations, children yelling or crying and the pressure to make conversation is overwhelming. In such conditions I can barely think, my nerves are heightened, my stress levels rise and difficulties with conversation are more accentuated and I can barely hear or concentrate on what the other person is saying. I can become completely overwhelmed.

I don’t like crowds.
Particularly when mixed with noise, bright lights. For instance a shopping trip is nightmare of misery screaming children, thumping music florescent lights and the hustle and bustle of crowds is overwhelming

Prone to tantrums.
Screaming, throwing things, yelling, ranting and raving, sometimes over a small issue others would not be so angst about. Shouting at the TV mostly about social injustice, politics, animal rights and so on is a regular occurrence I am constantly angry for reasons both personal and non personal.

Other peoples opinions
I rarely if ever understand another’s point of view although I attempt to tolerate such opposing opinions no one will ever change my mind and I appear as bigoted, self opinionated and intolerant. I tend to think others are stupid and shallow and cannot image how on earth they can possibly think or behave the way that they do. I find it difficult to accept that other people do not think the way I do.

Multitasking
This is impossible. I can only concentrate upon one thing at a time and even that is difficult. For instance I can’t do something when someone is talking to me, I either ignore them or stop what I am doing. Using the computer keyboard is difficult because I cannot do this quickly while trying to think what to type and what I write is often full of mistakes and needs to be corrected considerably therefore it takes a long time to write anything. Even preparing the dinner if it is complicated is impossible now, just lately I cannot co ordinate all the different stages both of these examples are further complicated by my OCD.

Concentration
My ability to concentrate and focus is greatly impaired. I cannot take in verbal instruction easily and on some occasions not at all. I have always learnt better from books than from a teacher for this reason. I tend to hurry things and can’t cope with reading instructions and cannot comprehended them particularly if they are boring and I have no interest. For instance I learnt to use a computer but don't know which switch on the TV control to use to turn it on! I am intensely interested in the former and have little interest in the latter.

Information overload.
After a while my brain fogs over and I cannot think straight. I am overwhelmed and often incapacitated by too much information at one time in rapid succession or if under pressure to react to such information Too much talking also has this effect, by which I mean whenever I am being subjected to too much talking by another person who does not allow you to get a word in. Conversations exhaust me and intensive occupation requiring complex thinking such as studying or writing something like this does likewise and my thinking becomes muddled and I feel confused.

Face recognition
I find it difficult to recognise people unless I have known them for years or see them everyday. This problem is more accentuated whenever the person concerned is seen out of context as it where; if they are somewhere I do not expect to meet them and this occurs even if I have known them for years.

Tuning out, going blank
This has occurred for all my life. I go into what was once referred to as a day dream and yes I do day dream. However sometimes I just tune out so to speak or go blank as though I am in a trance. I suddenly stop what I am doing, my eyes glaze over and I stare into space - at least this the way that people who have observed me describe what happens. Some times I can be watching TV, reading, or even listening to someone talking and I have no idea what I have seen, read or heard. it is as though I were not there yet I do not black out as such. It is difficult to explain quite what happens.

Perfectionist
I cannot tolerate mistakes Don’t like learning new tasks have impatience following instructions.

I am generally hypercritical, negative and unforgiving, fixating on bad experiences with people or events for an inordinate lengths of time. I adhere to rules perhaps too rigidly. I am mainly a serious minded person everything has to have some meaning or purpose.

I have difficulty generalising for example this explanation which is in fact only a third of the original length. I am told what I write is over detailed and rambling but to me it appears inefficient, as to my way of thinking all the details matter or at least I have difficulty knowing which do not. I cannot be concise. It is the some with my artwork, if I try to point from a photo I try to add every detail I do not have the knack of painting the general aspects thus art is frustrating.

I am indecisive this is significant indecision can be crippling indeed. I ruminated over and over whether to give you all these written explanations and whatever ever I have decided I will consider that I have done the wrong thing and should have decided differently. This however may be more related to my overall anxiety.

I feel it is important for me to know one way or another if I have AS or other ASD; in addition to the reasons mentioned earlier it may be difficult to get help from support groups such as the Autistic society as they may not provide support without a formal diagnosis if such is appropriate. I think most people like a label it helps them understand what is wrong and to have something to relate to, and I am no exception.

I consider that AS has an effect on my OCD because the stress over my communication problems and sensory issues increases my anxiety. As OCD is made worse by increases in anxiety and stress consequently, along with the reasons mentioned above, AS has a detrimental effect on my OCD

Also quite simply I just feel the need to no one way or another if my assumptions are correct.

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